and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
