Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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