ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
