I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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