come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
whose parrot is this?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Randomize
