I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
