OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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