i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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