I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
