i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
