you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
