God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
