i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize