they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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