She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
