why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
