Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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