He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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