i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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