look no pants
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
