is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
