ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize