just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I love you. Go after that dick
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
