R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
