Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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