Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
