she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
