I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
