i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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