with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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