my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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