Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
