If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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