it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
