This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So many bounce houses so little time
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
