I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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