Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
