My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
