Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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