smell my finger.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
