what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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