At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
