Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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