i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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