I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My bed smells like the plague
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
