so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
