So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
