U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
