Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
