Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
