I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I need a hoe opinion
go on
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
