We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
