I wish I could punch you in the face.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
