sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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