Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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