I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
