Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
