your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
