she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
