She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
