You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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