you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize