Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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