i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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