This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
