I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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