I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
