i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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