You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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