i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
