small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
