That's intense
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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