I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
