He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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