I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
